Nearing the end?

Why do I only think about this blog when things are not going well? I guess that when Mike is able to live his own life, I tend to not think about this disease that is slowly but surely killing him. Not that there hasnt been drama in the 2 years since I last wrote in this blog. But somehow I didnt feel the need to chronicle every turn in the road, every incident of good or bad that are the stories of Mike's life and ours.
About 6 months ago, we asked Mike not to call us when he was in trouble. We had been through so many crises that we were almost numb. We felt that at the ages of 66 and 76 we had a right to a life of peace. Mike agreed and was more than happy to step out of our lives. He had been trying to get us to see that he didnt want us involved in his daily drama. But of course it isnt easy to stick with these resolutions when that phone call comes from a friend that he has been in a car accident, or is in the hospital again. Mike might insist that we not be told of his condition. But the reality is that we are his next of kin. And sooner or later we are going to get that phone call.
We got it yesterday from a friend who works with him. He and another friend had been sitting by his side in the hospital day after day. He refused to let them call us. He was discharged from Palomar Hospital and sent home to care for himself with the help of a hospice nurse who would visit a couple times a week. His faithful friends went to check on him and found him incoherent. They called the hospice nurse, and she called an ambulance.
He was taken to Kaiser Hospital in San Diego. The doctors and nurses pressed him to allow them to call us. But he still refused. Finally his friends Jon and Joe convinced him that we needed to be notified of his condition.
We got that call last night from Jon, a caring and compassionate friend. We immediately went to the hospital. Mike was barely awake. He opened his eyes and looked at me as I sat on the bed stroking his shoulder. But I dont know if he recognized me. More in the next entry.