Buried at Sea

Today I got a very unexpected phone call. I was sitting in my car waiting for the light to change. I answered it and it was the cremation service that had taken Mike. The lady told me very simply that Mike had been buried at sea. I burst into tears. I managed to pull the car into a parking lot. I cried for an hour. My grief was as raw as the moment Mike died. I could feel the tangle of his thick curley hair in my hand, just as I felt it when I wept over his dead body.
This has thrown me into a tailspin. I realized that all the feelings I have been stuffing these last four months are just below the surface waiting to come out. I have decided I need some grief counseling. I am in Sacramento. I got on the internet and found some help. I will see a counselor tomorrow. I also signed up for an online support group.  I wish I didn't have to do this. But I just can't seem to make my way through the maze of memories and pain.