what is healthy grieving?

People say that I shouldnt obsess. That I should do the things I did before Mike died. Im doing that. Today I went to the gym. I planted some of the flowers that Sue bought for the memorial. I washed some clothes. But nothing is working. The pain of loosing Mike is still there. It waits for me. It sneaks up on me, ready to pounce when Im not expecting it. The doc says to limit the time I spend thinking about Mike and going over the details of his death. But how can I when so many things remind me of him. The last car he drove was my Toyota Camry. We sold it to him when we bought a new one for me. The problem is that there are a gazillion  99 Beige Toyota Camry's out there. I cant drive anywhere without seeing one. So there is a trigger ever two minutes. Pretty much everything is a trigger.
It's a knife slowly turning in my gut. It's pretty hard to ignore. I just want to cry and cry and cry. But wait! That isnt healthy!