Now I know what pain is

I had no idea how much it would hurt to lose my son.  I got up this morning at 6:30AM. Frank had gone to the Casa to be with Mike. At 7:30 I called him. He told me that Mike had passed just a few minutes before that. I was overwhelmed with grief. Thank heaven Susan was there. We quickly dressed and went down there. The moments I spent in the room with Mike are between Frank and I and Mike.  This pain will never leave me. But I will learn to live with it.
Mike will be taken away and cremated. We have not yet decided what we want to do to remember him. We will have an open house here in the next few days. I will put the word out here when we decide.
We always thought of ourselves as a family of four, off on adventures. We are still a family of four. We have Bruce, my son in law. In a way he will fill the hole left by Mike. But he will never replace the son I lost.  Nor would I want him to. Bruce is Bruce and Mike was Mike. I love them both for exactly who they are.  But Im so glad we have Bruce.