When will I heal from your pain? Whenever my mind is idle, like when Im driving or sitting in my room I think about your life. I feel the deep deep despair you felt for so very long. Dad and I tried to be there for you in every way we could possibly think of. But we couldn't take away your dark dark moods, your loneliness. We couldn't bridge that gap to you, honey, no matter how hard we tried. You left your body. You left your pain behind for me to feel. Sometimes I'm in anguish over your life. This horrible demon that haunted you was so cruel and heartless. You stayed with us as long as you could stand it. But you had to go. I understand that. What I don't understand is why you were cursed with this illness. If I could only find a way to look at your life and be at peace, maybe I could move forward.
Im trying so hard to move forward, Mike. For you, for Katie, for Dad, for the Baby and for the family who loves me and wants me to feel ok.
I don't know what else to do. Please help me, Mike. You are the only one who can.
Love,
Mom
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